On Chosen Family

      It just struck me the other day how sometimes we don't see the conversations we have with people with any significance.  For instance,  if I had  to count the number of times people asked me if my family even existed when they went home on the weekends, I wouldn't be a broke college graduate. Sometimes, the conversation goes a little something like this:

  Person:  So,  where is your family?
  Me: Oh, they're in (other state) and (other state).
  Person:  And you're here?
 Me:  Yep
Person:  Why don't they take care of you?
 Me:  What do you mean?
Person: Well, you're disabled, shouldn't you live with them?
Me: Um.....no
Person: Why?
Me: Because that's exactly what I wanted, and that's exactly what they expected of me.
Person: But, I don't understand, aren't they supposed to help you and stuff?
...................

      It goes on an on, with people asking even more ignorant and personal questions as time goes on. Although I usually oblige them with an explanation, it's actually none of your damn business where they are or how I make my way in the world. And, other newsflash,  nothing bad happened and my parents aren't bad people because they supported my independence. Sure, we have our differences, but I was raised better than to get into that online :-)
      The point is that most people don't even realize that this is an  inappropriate conversation to be having with someone my age that is not disabled. Actually, it's not even something that is thought of or discussed practically at all. So when I am surrounded by people who have family members in the area, things can get a little interesting.  Sure, I wish they were around for my birthday, and Mother's and Father's days are hard, but there's a reason why I have things the way that I have them. And nobody needs to understand that except me.
     That being said, everybody expects me to have this support, and while I do have some of it in the area (hi, grandma and grandpa!), that means I have to get creative!  So to each of you that has gone out of your way to help me out or do something nice for me without being asked, it means that much more. Let me give you an example:

      My freshman year of  college, I didn't know much of anybody and I was too scared to go out and join a bunch of things. I had known  the 2 or 3 best friends that I needed and that was it. I didn't have time to go meet a million people. But then, at that point I was really struggling. A mentor and dear friend encouraged me to go join a lot of extracurricular activities. And it wasn't  until the next year that I found my tribe, if you will.
      It  turns out that this group of people would be there for me through many hilarious, fun, awkward, terrifying moments, and everything in between. From the time when waiters were rude to people who had different communication styles to the time when I was escorted downstairs like a princess on her throne. Oh, and who can forget the time I ended up in the ER, or the people who stayed up with me when I was sick. Or even the people who wanted to include me in their girls night out. This proved to me that people have more empathy and a better sense of humor than I ever expected from humans. Or, as one of them said to me a couple years ago, “you're part of this family too.”  And, the point is, it shouldn't matter where they came from or how the hell they got there. The point is, I will never forget that. Ever.

  How do you recognize your family, blood or otherwise?