Friday, September 25, 2015

Adventures of a Shopaholic (And I'm Not Talking About Me!)

      Okay, so I'm taking a break from London  here for a minute. We all like to tell funny stories, or maybe ones that have important life lessons. Or maybe both. So when this story happened, I knew it would be too good not to share. My aide who was involved in this shall remain nameless out of respect for privacy, but I hope that if she does find this, she can laugh about it today.
       Anybody who knows me well knows that I hate shopping. And yet, I seem to end up in the mall more than anyone I know.  On this particular occasion, I had just gotten out of a massage appointment  where the clinic happens to be in the mall. The person I was with loves to shop and will sometimes do so to the exclusion of anything else. She particularly liked a lot of the stores in  this mall, so while I was getting my massage, she was finding everything she liked In Victoria's Secret.  When I was done, I told her that there was a pair of boots I wanted to go look at in Forever 21 (which I now own.)  If you've been shopping with me, you know that I'm a very single minded shopper, I get what I want and then I'm out of there. My companion, however, delighted in saying how cute everything was and that I should buy it because of that. I said “yes, it's nice, but I don't need to buy everything I see.” I don't know if this is because I'm cheap, or I try to be responsible. I'll go with responsible (yes, my parents are openly laughing at me right now).
      Anyway, so we go into Forever 21, and my aide tells the girl to bring out a size 7 in these boots. I'm nervous and I try to be nice and make small talk with the salesgirl, who doesn't know how much I hate shopping. My aide then proceeds to tell her that I'm going on a hot date with someone that I wasn't, and, later, that it was my birthday, neither of which were true. On top of that, when she says my name, it sounds like “Ana,” so that's what the salesgirl keeps calling me. They team up and decide that I need an outfit and a bunch of accessories including bright red lipstick and nail polish. I went in there to buy a $20 pair of shoes, and I came out with at least  $40 worth of stuff. Moral of the story: never drag a shopaholic within a 25 mile radius of the mall.  (Oh, wait, this is Mall City, that's impossible!)


 (Image:  a black-and-white striped sleeveless dress with a sheer neck and middle, on top of which there are a pair of black sunglasses, a black headband with a bow, black rose earrings, and a pair of black ankle boots with studs. This is all displayed against my rainbow striped comforter.) 


 (Image:  me smiling sarcastically with my mouth shut at the camera, wearing a giant pair of black sunglasses and a headband with the tags still attached. I am wearing a teal blue T-shirt that says “Discover campus.” I'm wearing multiple bracelets and necklaces that they had me try on. The Forever 21 store is visible in the background.) 

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