Dear X,
Friends often don't know how much little things matter. When I met you earlier this year, I certainly didn't.
I didn't know how much it would matter that you can always make me laugh. Without fail.
Although you may not understand everything, you understand some things about me in many more ways than one. We speak the same language, several as a matter of fact, and you really have accepted me to the point that you can.
I also know that you are a selfless human being, and also just that, a human being. Every single time I ask for help is not without gratitude and understanding. Yes, I am frustrated, because my situation is frustrating, not because of you.
You are tired, I can see it in your eyes and in your head. I can hear it in your words. We come under stress in very similar ways. It's really none of my business what you are worried about, but that is when I think you understand something that you don't realize.
Whether it be from a multitude of other things, or from working long hours of stressful, thankless work, I think you now understand why I work so hard to live my life the way that I do. Because you live the alternative. Now I'm not saying that this place does or does not treat you well, but I've heard many stories, I've seen it, I've been there. And that's why I can never ever bring myself to do that. As “safe” as it may be.
“ You have 5 minutes, go help this person, go now.” I know this is what they say, and I know that you know this is not what they deserve, because you, too, are a human being. You want to treat them like one, but you can't, you don't have time. And you want to be treated like one, too!
It makes me want to cry every time I see you, or don't see you, so tired that you can't fucking hold your eyes open. You may not think I notice, but I do, and I know why. You are doing this to help the people, but also because you need to. And for that, I don't blame you at all. After all, I've always said, “come work for us and be treated like shit” is better than “ hey, come hang out with me and make crappy money or no money at all.” This is the sad truth, and I know it.
When you met me, I wonder if you thought of me as one of them. I wasn't some decrepit old person that stays in the senior center, I am a smartass who likes to live it up just like you do. I wonder if that has changed now. Do you see me as dependent, lazy? Needing to be supervised? It kind of hits you when “those people” are just like you, doesn't it? When they are the ones in control, as it should be. You understand.
You understand that I'm tired of seeing amazing people like you broken down to the point where they can't take it anymore, and we, as a people, will suffer.
You understand that there are few people like you out there. People just don't care. They just don't.
You understand that I am more than sick of this being about money, and not about people. If I had $25,000, you understand that I would give it to you in a heartbeat, because that is what people like you deserve.
But, unfortunately, all I have to give you is my sincere gratitude, sarcasm, and maybe a few corny jokes along the way. You understand that, too.
You have always been honest with me, and I know that if you see this, you will tell me the truth. That's what I like about you.
But for now, I just need you to understand that you are appreciated.
Understand that you are loved.
(For the record, I wish I could write awesome pieces like this as an ode to everyone, but for now, this one had been looming around for about the past month so I had to start with this) :-)
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